What a heck of a weekend!

Man oh man am I glad tomorrow is Monday! I have had Lukey all week since Wednesday night with little break- only thanks to Yaya- love you! And Lukey was a holy terror :( He couldn't help it- he was adjusting to his new medication dose and it made him feel bad. I accidentally gave him the full dose last night and he was a bear this am. Great days always start with your 4 year old screaming his head off at you! And lasting for 3-4 hours straight............. where IS the alcohol???? Yaya came over and tried to help me calm him- well she calmed me by letting me go alone to Walmart- oh the simple pleasures we moms have when we are stressed out about the kiddos.... it takes so little.
Oh well- I am off to bed- fell asleep in boyfriends lap at 845 last night while trying to stay awake to watch a movie.............. guess that means I need to hit the hay early! Oh well at least he is staying at Mark's tomorrow so I can get some sleep.

Lukey the circus man?

Well step right up folks- you have entered the one man show I love to call Lucas. He has been doing the funniest things lately- he is getting under his little trampoline to play peek a boo, and he is hanging upside down in the chair to eat and watch TV. What a little mess he is! The pic under the trampoline is before school yesterday- he was mad at me (because we were going to school) and he crawled under there to "hide"- did not work out too well huh? He stayed under there about 30 minutes and he ate breakfast under there as well. I just kept poking bananas at him- geez......... never dull!

My little dancin' man

Oh Lukey- he is sooooooooooo white! He thinks he dances great but you know what- I have news for him- oh well it is adorable anyway. He watched this Laurie Berkner children's music video on TV and he has seen it a million times, but for some reason it caught his eye and he jumped up on his trampoline and danced in front of a mirror. I put the mirror in the living room so he could watch himself talk in it- it really gets him talking a lot more- well evidently gets him dancing more too :) I rewound that music video for 30 minutes and he kept on dancing- it was the cutest thing I have seen him do in a long time.

Well my new beau Pete came over tonight and ate dinner with Lukey and I and Lucas was such a good boy. He was in big time wrestle with mommy mode, so I got on the floor with him and let him tickle me and he kept saying More tickles please (I am talking about Lucas :) He has been talking so much more- I am hoping that this increase in medicine is helping as well as the suppliments and vitamins- it is all working well together- yeah!

Annie O........... get your guns!!!

Yes, you can guess from my title that I am no longer a gun virgin- yes today I fired a gun for the first time! I had so much fun- it is a great stress reliever. I fired a 22 caliber pistol, 22 rifle, a 31 glaucen? and a shotgun. Pete and his son are gun nuts so they have quite a collection and go to the shooting range often. They took me along for a father's day outing today and taught me how to shoot. No one was injured or killed in the process- so that means it was successful right? It was fun........ hope to go back soon. I am becoming more of an outdoors girl all the time!

Well today was a very disappointing father's day............ Lucas' dad just continues to disappoint me. I guess I should expect no different from him and that I should just get over him not being as involved as I imagined he would be; but that is hard- a very hard pill to swallow. I am so thankful to have Pete in my life- if things work out with him it will be a positive and involved role model in Lucas' life. I really feel that Mark has so many hurt feelings and harbors so much resentment about the past and our marriage that he gets it all mixed up in the present and takes it out on me now. He was at a family reunion all weekend so I kept Lucas, and boy was it a rough weekend- all I can say is thank God for my mom! She watched Lukey for a few hours yesterday and today to give me some mommy time. Mark returned home today and said that he did not want to get Lukey until 400 pm tomorrow- he is on vacation until Thursday. Well this chapped me as I am exhausted- trying to juggle school, work, Lucas, Lucas' bad mood :) etc. while he was out of town drinking and having fun all weekend. He is off work the next 3 days and he offered to watch him one extra night- but no extra time at all during the days. I will still bring him to school, therapy, etc. all week- NO vacation for me- ever I suppose!
Well I tried to talk to him about this on the phone today and 2 X , yes you read that right, 2 X he hung up on me. No conversation at all about it- just an abrupt hang up. Oh well- what are ya gonna do? Can't shine up a terd and make it pretty huh? No need to try on this one- he is as big of a terd as they come.

Long weekend.............

............and it is not even over yet! Yes when your ex is out of town and you get to keep the whiny, does not feel good child on Father's day weekend it is gripe worthy! His dad is at a family reunion in Waco so Lukey couldn't go- too far- that is at least a 3 man job driving that far with him in tow......... one to drive, one to entertain, and one to catch the puke when he decides he has had enough and cries until that happens :) See my life is never dull! Anyway so we have been stuck at home a lot over the past few days as we are adjusting to our new Rx dose since seeing the neuro on Thursday. He was better this afternoon- but he decided it would be a great idea to get up at 430 am this morning- no that is not a typo- 430 am is correct, unfortunately. He was drugged by yours truly at 500 and alas no more sleep. Just a grumpy 4 year old for the rest of the morning; Waya even came over to help mommy keep some sanity and tried a nap- no such luck. Oh well- we did a LOT of bubbles today and lots of swinging and of course a lot of stimming! Nothing makes the day go by faster than those 3 things!

I took these pics a few days ago- the ones at home he was hamming it up at the camera, and playing with some fake money I bought him at the $ store, many has he played with that for hours on end. He picks it up and makes it rain money- if only.............. the other pic is an "I am not real sure about this" look from his first boat trip a couple of weeks ago. He overall had a great time, just a couple of little meltdowns on the boat but otherwise he did pretty well overall. May try it again soon- maybe next summer soon- depends on the upcoming moods........

Long day, good day, bad day, exciting day........

What a day! We made an appointment (in November) with a specialist at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston and the appt. was FINALLY today- did not think it would EVER get here! But alas it did and I was so pleased with his prognoses for Lucas and what he said about him. He said he thought he still leaned towards the milder end of the autism spectrum rather than classic autism and that he wanted us to have him re-evaluated perhaps by the same dr. that diagnosed him 3 years ago. We are checking into this more- unsure if we will go back to that dr. or stick with a dr. at Texas Children's. No matter the updated diagnoses we know it will still be autism of some form- just the severity of it may change over the years.
The good news was he seemed happy with all the supplementing we have been doing and the therapies he is attending. He basically said he looked like a fine, healthy young man and that he was pleased to hear of his progress since his diagnoses. He addressed the sleep issues and increased his medications to hopefully help him sleep all night more consistently- it should also help even out his mood more in the daytime.
So over all it was a great visit- great results- the interesting part of the day was going home. We got about to Baytown and the mood went South. Lucas had a complete 100% I am tired of this F&%$$%g car seat business about 5 miles outside of Beaumont :( Boy did mama ever drive fast!!! We stopped about 1/2 mile from his daddy's house at a McDonald's to let him puke there rather than in my new car- yes he still pukes when he cries hard, and he got MORE agitated there. We went in for a few minutes and the people in the McD's were convinced we had kidnapped this poor kid and were torturing him. I looked at them like - Are you kidding me? If I kidnapped this I would ssssssoooooooooo bring him back! Anyway we made it to daddy's house and it took a good 20 minutes of a full fledged meltdown until he calmed down and was happy old Lukey again.
So mommy is exhausted beyond words- we increased his Rx tonight so I pray it helps him sleep!

I want squeezes............WOMAN!

OK so I am paying $1000's of dollars a year on therapy to teach my autistic child to talk and here are some samples of what he is learning: "Shit, Crap, Dammit, I want squeezes Woman!" Doesn't that make a mama proud !?!?!? He says the curse words at appropriate times too which really cracks me up. "Lucas it is time to put the book down and go to bed"- he says "Crap, crap, crap, crap............" about 20 X in response to go to bed! Then I have been telling him if he wants hugs or squeezes as he calls them, he has to say I want squeezes............ well today he said I want squeezes.......... woman! Oh my Lordy did I laugh at that one.
My mom came over to have dinner and hang out to catch up on things and she said she saw remarkable progress with him over the past couple of weeks. We have been doing supplements lately that are new so we are hopeful that they are helping- he just seems so much more focused, following directions well, and talking so much more. We are very excited about his progress. I will keep you all posted........... we see a specialist in Houston Thursday at Texas Children's- he is a neurologist that only works with autistic children so it will be great to see what he thinks about Lucas' progress as well as hopefully address the ongoing sleep issues. It is better but still not sleeping all night consistently.

Busy busy girl.............

Thanks to my little man I live with, school, homework, trying to make time for friends and family and my new man all = very busy I am. Happy to be busy- some people have nothing in their lives to occupy their time. Well thus far school has been not so bad- I am glad I took this online course first to get my feet wet again. It has been easier than I thought to balance everything- although I have not balanced the gym in very well- hard to go when I have Lukey all the time. Now that he is back in school I am going to shoot to go this week- I haven't been in 2 weeks :( Oh well- I will get back into the swing of things soon enough.
Been spending much of my free time worrying this week about others; I have been fighting with Becca my boss, and with Mark my ex hubby and Mark my ex boyfriend. First, Becca is mad at me for being overly concerned and acting like her mother regarding her self medicating. Ex hubby Mark is just being himself, therefore we fight; and ex boyfriend Mark is the same old same old- I emailed him 2 weeks ago saying I need some space but I want to be friends- he writes me and says I abandoned him friendship wise (although it has only been two weeks) and that he wouldn't bother me anymore. I write him back, tell him I am happy and dating someone else and hope we can stay friends, he writes back- sorry I interrupted your bliss, won't ever happen again, you are officially rid of me, congrats! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So oh well- I guess we can't be friends; hard to do so with a man who is 45 but acts 10.
So this past week has been a hard one emotionally for me- I am still going strong with my new guy- still worries that he does not quite get the concept of what all autism entails but I am hoping he will stick around even when he does really get it. He is a great guy- so I am hopeful. I will keep yall posted. Well off to hit the books again................

Ugh............. I HATE insurance companies!!!!

Ok get this........... we have been taking Lucas to ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy for 2.5 years now. It is the only proven form of therapy in the medical community to be shown to help autistic children learn skills. Well we have been filing it on his health insurance for over a year and they continually deny coverage for this as well as speech therapy. SOOOOOOOOOOO aggravating because ABA or ST cost $50 an hour and he needs about 20-30 hours a week- do that math........... so we only do about 2-3 hours a week which is still expensive. They finally decide to pay for about 6 months of ABA and we were thrilled! Well that was the end of that- we started getting denial letters again and we started appealing it all over again. Now they are saying OH we accidentally paid for that -oops our bad- so we will not be covering any more therapy. WHAT the ????? I have a hard time believing that they "accidentally" paid out $1600 for therapy back pay- whatever...........
So we are on a mad hunt to apply for other insurances to see if the coverage will be any different through them. I think I make too much to qualify for CHIPS or Medicaid but am applying none the less. So frustrating- we already took $5 K out of his college account to help pay for therapy and we may take the remainder out too eventually.
So bottom line- for all those out there with normal kiddos- thank God every SINGLE day that you don't have to spend 1000's of dollars to teach your kids to communicate! It is horrible to know your child needs help, and not be able to provide it due to money constraints :(
On a more positive note, the new beau got to see his first official meltdown yesterday and he is still around- so must not be too bad of a guy huh? He seems OK with it all- I took Lukey out on the boat yesterday with him and his son and Lukey did pretty well. He liked riding the boat- hated the life jacket, and hated be hovering over him but until he learns to swim oh well. I think we may go out there again sometime soon- it was his first trip on a boat so over all I think he did pretty good.

I want sand, I want sand...........

Oh Lukey man- once he discovers that all he has to do is talk to me, he will get anything his little heart desires! I bought him some Moon Sand- a clever (messy) little invention someone with NO children obviously came up with- anyway back on topic- I bought this for his birthday and he received so many toys I put about 1/2 of them away and forgot about some of them. Well I was cleaning out a closet this morning at 430 am........... could not sleep, what else is there to do??? and I found this. So I got it out and decided if he notices it or asks for it, I will open it- otherwise no. Well of COURSE he notices it at bedtime, brings the box to me and says "I want sand; I want sand.............. so guess what - he got sand! Boy I did too, and the carpet, chairs, table, PJ's, you get the idea- we all got sand! I had to drag out the vacuum- joy joy joy.
Anyway he had his first day of summer school today and he did well- new teachers in that room and everything and he still did well- daddy accidentally brought him to school 30 minutes early today but he did not seem to mind. He had a great day and was starving of course when I picked him up- I was prepared though- cheese toast all cut up in bite sized pieces and warm milk for the ride home- am I an awesome mommy or what???
Well yesterday was a fun, relaxing day on the river with my new man Pete and his son Chris. His son is a doll- I really enjoyed his company. I am hoping that our boys can meet this week- we will try one day soon to take them to the river to go boating- that should be interesting! Well I better hit the books- I have a date tomorrow night so I won't be studying tomorrow- better get caught up tonight.

What a wonderful day/I have a smart little man!

I could not decide on a title so I decided to name it two different things. I first will brag on Lucas- it has been quite a while since he spelled random things off TV but he sure did today- he spelled Parents NickJR.com- notice he even left a space for the @ sign and the . ???? How smart is that! It flashes on Nick for about 5 seconds after some of the shows and he memorized it......... amazing- can't tell you he crapped himself but can spell web site addresses..............

Well the other part of the post- I had the most wonderful day today- I spent the entire day (about 6 hours) on the new beau's boat with him and his son. He is 10 and a very well behaved, well mannered, talkative, sweet natured boy. He is a joy to be around and is one of the happiest kiddos I have ever met. He and his dad are very close so it was nice to see them interact. He was so patient and kind with him- you can tell his world revolves around his son. It is so wonderful to see this- most men are so consumed with their careers, hobbies, or other interests it is refreshing to see a man who is focused solely on his child.

They talked me into riding a tube pulled behind the boat and it was fun- until I slid off the back end of it! I had on a life vest though so it was all good and they came back to get me! We went to his house after boating and cleaned up and went to dinner together- it was a nice and relaxed fun day to spend with them and get to know his son a bit. I think he and Lukey will click- they are natured so much alike- other than the talking thing :) Anyway I will keep you posted as to how things continue to progress- I think this one may be a keeper.

My little swimmin' man

Oh my could he get any cuter- I think that answer is NO! He got a new pool at daddy's house to play in and he loved it by daddy's report! Played in there about 2 hours then took a bath and passed smooth out at 7! Looks like he had fun huh? I got him a little plastic baby pool and all he did was step in and out of it- maybe we need a bigger one like this?

Well Lukey got to do a really fun thing for the first time yesterday- we went to a movie! We attended the movie with a large group of autistic kiddos, parents, and staff from Shorkey center so the kids could go to a movie and not worry about them being to noisy, etc. We rented out the entire theatre and watch the new movie Up. It was a great time- I have never taken Lukey to a movie because- well obvious reasons- he won't sit still, he claps and flaps and screams a lot- all the fun stuff that comes along with being autistic. Well when you have a room full of kids that are ALL doing it , it is not so bad. They all had a ball- even Lukey sat through about 1/2 of the movie then he climbed and counted stairs in the aisle the remainder of the time. It went well enough though that I think we MAY try another movie soon- with grand parent help of course :)

Well I am off to bed- my online class started Thursday and I have been busy passing out from reading so much- not back in the swing of things quite yet- but it is not going to be so bad, especially doing the online classes. I am excited about tomorrow- going to the river with Pete and his son- I am meeting him for the first time tomorrow so I am a bit nervous. I will keep yall posted!

WARNING: Mushy stuff galore

OMG! I could not be any happier right now if I tried! I feel so blessed to have finally met a man who understands me, appreciates me and wants me just the way I am. He is very special to me already- I am so excited about what the future holds. He met Lucas yesterday and it went well- I wanted to introduce them so that I could give him an "out" if he wanted one. Taking me on is one thing- taking on me and my autistic 4 year old is a completely different undertaking. I will keep everyone posted on this new relationship- I am so happy :)

Going to be a busy, busy summer

Wow is it ever going to be busy! Last summer- not enough to do- this summer too much to do!!!! I am starting back at Lamar in 3 days- sigh- and that alone will keep me busy- but no I also have to manage the following: working part time, keeping Lucas entertained, spending time with my new beau :), studying, taking Lucas to school 4 days a week, ABA therapy 2 X a week, and Speech therapy 2X a week! WHAT!?!?!?!? Oh my- it is going to be exhausting- so far so good though..... today was a good example of how some of the days will play out; I picked him up at his dad's at 8- we came home, ate, swang, went to Walmart, came home, ate swang, went to speech therapy, came home, swang again, played in water hose, swang again, played in bubbles, ate dinner, now bath then bed. Whew! What a day- and I only slept about 5 hours last night- can you say caffiene???