Christmas celebration continued.......

I promised more pics of the kiddos from Christmas, so here they are. A lot of good ones, but here are some of my faves. We split up the gift opening this year to get some of the chaos controlled. Lucas was a bit overwhelmed last year on Christmas eve especially, so we did adult gifts one day then kiddos the next. Lukey did great this year- I think that it may be a combination of everyone being happy this year all at the same time and arranging things the way we did. Sissy and Mr Robert got lots of hugs, and so did mommy, Waya, and Mimi of course. We had a great day playing with the kids and opening their gifts, then eating the 22 pound turkey my mom cooked! Yummy...............Emma and Lucas are by far the greatest gifts of all.

Merry Christmas!!!

Before anyone fusses- we are opening kid's presents tomorrow, so no there are not many pics yet of the kids. More to come I promise :) What a great holiday this has been! Spent Christmas Eve with the family and Robert by going to church together, then Christmas day visiting my family and friends then Robert's family and friends. It was overall a pretty perfect way to spend the holidays. I can safely say that I am happier than I have ever been- pretty amazing! I thank God daily for all the blessings in my life, and that Jesus makes it all possible.

Christmas Time

Well we have had a very busy last couple of months- sorry about the slacking in blogger land! Here are some pics from Lukey's field trip to see Santa and his Christmas party yesterday at school. The trip to Santa he did great- he was such a good boy the entire time we were at the mall. Mommy on the other hand- needed Valium after it was over. There must have been 3 million kiddos there, screaming, yelling, crying- tis the season!?!?!? It was chaos to say the least. He did great until we left- then his meltdown began. He cried the entire way home then some- can you say overstimulating????

Ok the picture with the two lollipops is a new trend I am quickly trying to phase out :) He asked for red lollipop and licked it once and threw it in the sink (because to him that is a garbage can). Then he screamed and asked for green lollipop- I gave him that one- again it goes in sink. Then he goes and gets both out of the sink and eats them at same time. Smart little tricky fellow.

The Christmas party at school was eventful to say the least. It started out calm- his teacher made them all a Night Before Christmas book and the kids painted and decorated them- very cute. Then we all sat together and read the book. Afterwards we decorated cookies and passed out gifts. By the time the gifts were passed out, all 6 were in meltdown mode- joy................ Lucas kept dragging me to the door- like let's get the F$#@ out of here! Poor baby! But overall it was good......... I think !?!?!?

Lucas is growing up so very fast- he will be 5 next month. He is being promoted to the next level up PPCD class in January and riding the bus to school starting after Christmas as well. He has been visiting this class all year, and he is transitioning in there full time- I am so proud and happy for him. Two of the boys in there talk a lot- so I am hoping this will help him to talk more. I start student teaching January 12th so wish me luck! I also started my second part time job two weeks ago- so far so good. All I am having time squeezing in is the gym :( so if I start getting too fluffy let me know!

Trip to St. Louis!

I had such a great time in St. Louis I think it may become my annual vaca spot! So nice to spend time with good friends and escape reality for a few days. Here are some pics from the trip- no sight seeing to take pics of- all the sight seeing I did was on the back of the Harley- holding on for dear life...... no taking pictures there! Don't worry I did not drive it! Jamie and Scott are the best- miss you guys all ready!

I also was able to spend some time with my old co-worker Carla and her sweet girl Jasmine. It was so nice to catch up! Miss you two already as well!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Well I have so much to be grateful for, don't even know where to begin. I am finished with most of my coursework for my classes this semester, just one more test to go and then Christmas break! We all gathered at mom's for Thanksgiving and it turned out to be a wonderful day. The kids played well together and my family got to meet Robert. It was overall a wonderful day- so much to be grateful for!

What a crazy week........and new colorful words :)

Well well well- as if I don't have ENOUGH stress in my life- 3 new things this week, oh wait, 4 new things; some funny, some sad- all crazy! Item #1- I have been giving it my all with my boyfriend of almost 2 years and have come to the realization it is not working out, not now, not ever. Too many differences and too much stress with not enough pros to keep me in there and trying. It was a hard decision, but I know in the long run, it is for the best.

On to item #2, sister's hubby lost his job today- quite worried about their financial situation- I know God will take care of them though.

Item #3- Lucas came home from school early yesterday due to a rained out field trip and he was mad we could not swing all day. I let him play on the front porch and he tried for about the 100th time to go down the steps to swing. I said no again........... and he grabbed some sidewalk chalk and wrote on the front door " B U L L S H T" end quote :)

Oh and item #4 - he is SAYING it, in appropriate when mad context, at school!!! Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The kid can't say I am hungry, I crapped my pants, etc., oh but he can cuss in an appropriate context! Wow, gee- makes a mommy proud. Wow all of this and it is only Tuesday!

Angel's 7th b-day- and happy b-day mom!

We went to Angel's 7th b-day party which was a costume party/birthday party. It was so much fun........I have not dressed up in years so I went as a pussy cat............meeeeeeow! Lukey was Captain Kirk off Star Trek (that is daddy's doing, not mine :) but it was rather warm outside so we changed him quickly into his pumpkin shirt. He was such a good boy- I just never know with him. Two days prior to Saturday he was whiny and grumpy beyond belief......... but it passed and he was a precious angel all weekend. Emma on the other hand............ not so much! No nap but still made it to the party- she left kicking and screaming with a very stressed out mommy in tow........ oh well, maybe better luck next year! But she sure made a cute little pumkin witch.

He ran around and played with a Barbie :) and was pretty social for him anyway. He went with me on a hay ride and he watched Angel open gifts and eat cake. He had a ball- and in turn so did I. I will try to post more pics- it only lets me post a certain number at once so I just picked a few.

One more thing- I want to wish my mom the best birthday ever! You are the best mom and I love you so very, very much! Don't know what I would do without you- hope I never have to find out :) Happy birthday! Love Jill Jill

I know, I know..............I am a slacker.....

Well when it comes to blogging anyway! I have been so very busy with school, Lucas, life, etc- can't seem to find time for it all. I have completed a part of school that will allow me to do my student teaching next spring and then teach (with pay!) next fall! Yeah! I think my ex hubby is more happy about that than I am :) for financial reasons!

Here are some pics of me and Lukey that my dear sweet boyfriend took- with a very jumpy subject Lucas is not the easiest to get on film, but he managed to get a few good ones. I am not showing them all- you will have to wait for Christmas time to roll around!

Could I get any craftier???

Not sure that craftier is a real word................oh well, I will call Webster's and get it added. I as many of you know, love to scrapbook (never have time, but I do love to do it) and I make my own Christmas and birthday cards as time allows.......... so what was next? Sewing! Yes at 35 years of age I bought my first sewing machine and taught myself how to hem pants for Lucas. Now did I do this out of boredom? Heck no.......... out of necessity. Lukey is built like a little brick- he is thick and square like his daddy God love him :) He is wearing size 6-8 pants in the belly and he has short little 17 " inseam legs! So I am having to buy pants in a size 6/7 or 8 and be sure they have a stretchy elastic waste and cut about, oh 6 inches off the pants legs!
Well it has not been a total disaster- I practiced on some napkins and on an old pair of jeans before I dove in. Well I made a lot of mistakes, but the nice thing about sewing is you can rip it out and start over! So I hemmed about 10 pair of pants over the weekend and they all turned out really good, much to MY surprise!
Well we got a disappointing progress report last week- Lukey has made a pretty severe regression over the summer. I knew he had but it was upsetting to hear and see it on paper. We are going to start giving him his vitamins and fish oil again to see if it helps. He has been back on it for about 3 days and he is talking more, so that is a promising sign. Unsure how or why it helps but it seems to help. Keep him in your prayers- he is a happy and healthy boy- we just want him to start communicating so he doesn't get so frustrated- other than than, he is pretty much perfect and amazing!

My sweet little man :)

I have taken lots of random pics of him lately and just can't get over how BIG he is getting! I am sure that by age 8 or so he will be as big as I am! I had to take some pics of him with his Rainbow Brite shirt on :) that Waya and Mimi bought him- you could see him from a mile away with it on! The picture with the flag cracks me up because he has been carrying that thing around since someone placed it in the yard on 9/11 and he has been waving it ever since. Another disturbing new fetish of his is wearing my shoes and trying to walk around in them- I think it is pretty cute- daddy may not think so :)

All is well here- I am staying very busy and very very tired. Juggling school, Lucas, work, boyfriend, church, friends and family is not for the faint of heart- but I would not have it any other way. I am blessed to have family, friends, boyfriend, church and school- so counting my blessings I will go as I pass out at 800 tonight!

New day, new look......

Well for my blog anyway- I still look the same........... devastatingly beautiful, irresistible, ya know................ :) I like to change some things up in my life- anything I have control over anyway like blog colors- the rest of my life- not so much control. Oh well- I am studying hard for my attempt #2 at the comprehensive exam I have to retake in 2 more weeks- I feel more prepared than I did the first try- I pray I pass this time!!!! Send me happy pass the test vibes............. I can use them!

Happy Grandparent's Day!

We spent the morning at church with Waya and Mimi and then to Waya's house for some lunch afterwards. Lukey had a good time and was such a good boy while we were there- one never knows how it will turn out when he is away from home and what is normal to him. He has been following directions so well lately and saying "Bye see you wader (later) " almost everytime I prompt him to. He looked so handsome today in his new dress clothes- such a good looking little man :)

So took him to dr. Friday when he woke with a mysterious rash all over- dr. was unsure what it was so recommended I keep him home from school. Well I wake up with the same rash Saturday! I think it may be a new laundry detergent, so I went home and re-washed everything in Tide Free detergent- geez, as if my life isn't crazy enough already! It is getting better but sure is itchy!

He eats, and he eats, and he eats........................

Here is what Lucas does best- eat. He eats non stop from the time he arrives home from school at 2 pm until bedtime at 7 pm. As a blind man could see he is getting a little "thicker", fluffy, however one wants to view it :) so I am trying to cut out junk like cookies and add more fruit etc. Well he loves freeze dried apple bites so every night before bed time he eats these in a bowl, watches Wheel of fortune, and he eats them with both hands like he is starving in a POW camp. Obviously I feed the child- but he inhales these things! Oh the little things in life that make our world go around..........

I am on the mend- after 3 separate dr visits this week and 3 shots in the a$$ I am about back to 100%- still very tired, but the majority of the kidney infection is gone- thank God! I don't ever want one of those again! 103 degree fever, chills, nausea, vomiting, horrible abdominal pain- more fun than one should be allowed to have at any one given time in life. So back to hitting the books, the gym, the boyfriend :), and work- back to the old grind- and I have never looked more forward to things being back to normal! Lucas is loving school and doing well- we are trying to have him re-evaluated at Tx Children's to see if his autism diagnoses has changed any- the neurologist thinks it is still on the milder PDD end of the autism spectrum, but we will see when the time comes- I hope he is right!

Kidney infection = one hellofa fun weekend!!!

Oh my- so Jan and I had a fun sister's get away this weekend to go to the Woodland's and shop, eat, shop, nap, eat some more, and oh yeah, shop. Well Friday was wonderful- we shopped, napped and ate until we were up to our ears in clothes for the kiddos and full to the rim after eating fondue at the Melting Pot- YUM! However I started having a severe pain in my right side on Saturday am.......... I have had some small ovarian cysts before so I assumed that was what it was when the mild version of this started on Friday- oh but no.............. this pain was second only to labor pains. I ended up puking Saturday, felt like someone came and zapped my Energizer battery out of me, and I started running a fever. Of course Jan and I ate and drank after each other all day Friday- so this was her response and I quote- "I am going to kill you if I catch this and miss work on Monday!" end quote :) Thanks Jan! LOL

Anyway luckily you can't catch kidney infections- they are so much fun I would love to spread the pain around to have some help with dispersing it. So I tried to suck it up and stay home last night in my own bed to get some sleep- bad idea :( I was in pain and awake off and on from 12-5- then I could stand it no more and texted my wonderful, what would i do without her mother, and said I am in pain, please come take me to the ER.

So off we went........... arrived at 530 am and was taken in right away. What a huge relief! They ran all kind of tests, blood work, Cat scan, and gave me Tylenol for the pain- gee thanks! As soon as they ruled out other potential problems like gallbladder issues or appendix issues they discovered I have a bad kidney infection. WHEW!!!!!!!!!!! I was laying there in that bed all morning thinking "I am a very busy mommy- I can't take time off to have surgery!" Oh well thank God it did not end up that way! So off I went home sweet home around 1230 pm- not too bad for a day spent at the ER I suppose. Got some strong antibiotics and Darvacet- ahhhhhhhhh.

Much better tonight already.......... no more fever and the pain is quickly subsiding. I hope I can sleep better tonight though! I really need some rest before getting Little Man back tomorrow! I miss him so much- I haven't seen him since early Friday am......... daddy Mark actually stepped up to the plate and kept him ALL weekend- wait did the lower world just freeze over !?!!??!?

School is back in.......& it is time for mommy vacation!

Yeah school! Well it depends on who you ask............. Lucas says booooooooo- but I say yeah! My week has been crazy with Lamar resuming, taking Lucas to school and trying to work in workouts, time with the boyfriend and oh yeah, sleep :) I am on my way to Houston for the weekend with Jan- we are gonna shop, eat, shop some more- I can't wait! A girl's weekend yeah!!!!

1............More............day..........until.........school!!!

Can you say Yippee! Hooray! Yee and Haw!!!!!!!!! Man am I ready for school to resume for Lucas- could you tell????? It has been a long a$$ summer for us both! I am soooooooooo glad it is almost over. Whew......... we survived another summer home ............ all the time........... just the 2 of us..............trying not to kill one another.................. anyway, the good news is it is almost over! We got to spend a lot of quality time with the wonderful boyfriend over the weekend and I just melt at how close he and Lucas are. It has been so nice to have that relationship as well as our relationship back in my life over this past month- I am so very happy and blessed.

Well on a crummy note I get to start back to Lamar night classes again tomorrow :( I am so not happy about this- oh well- at least it is a long semester versus those short summer sessions in which everything is due so fast together. It will be nice to have more than a few days to complete an assignment. I will retake the content exam in October and see if I can student teach in the Spring- man I hope so. I am ready to move on and work full time so that I can be a better provider for Lucas. I also have an ulterior motive- I want so badly for Mark and I to finally move in together and get married. I can't wait- but I am going to have to be patient............ not impossible but hard none the less.

Slacking on the blog.................

Sorry no new updates lately- the only update is I have had a hell of a week- and it is only Wednesday!!! Lucas is so out of sorts, no therapy, no school- no nothing but whining, griping, complaining about anything and everything. He is bored, rebelling on using the potty, and just in a fowl mood most of the time. I am exhausted- all I want to do on Tuesday next week is sleep when he is at school. Staying home with the kiddos is the hardest, most underpaid, crappy vacation time, no sick days, and no retirement- what a crappy gig! Oh well it pays well with giggles, smiles, and hugs so it makes it worthwhile.

I start back to school Monday night- not real excited about that- took a comprehensive exam at Lamar last week and failed it- so I get to study for that too and retake it- joy joy joy. Oh well, better than taking more courses. I hope I pass it so I can student teach in the spring- that means I can teach next fall- yeah! Pray that it works out that way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please keep my family in your prayers, my sister and her husband are discussing divorce and they are both going through a very hard time right now- please pray for peace and healing for them both.

Lukey pics

Here are some recent Lukey pics- he is growing so fast and getting so big!!! He is 4.5 years and weighs 55 pounds, is 48 inches tall and wearing clothes the size of a 6-7 year old boy! Here he is lounging around- so tired since mommy makes him stay up all night :) Pitiful huh??? The other picture is of him and Sarah- my boyfriend's daughter. Yesterday was the first day he saw her in about 3 months and he seemed happy to see her. I know she was glad to see him too!

The picture with Lukey typing is a device one of his old speech therapist gave us to use when he got older. Well he typed out "grilled cheese, cheese toast, mommy, daddy, water, more, and crackers with only verbal prompts! Amazing- if we can channel this ability he may become very good very soon at articulating his wishes and the frustration will dip tremendously I hope! Keep your fingers crossed!

Baby Havard's

I got to attend a baby shower for a very dear old friend Steffanie Havard Leger yesterday. She and her sister Tiffany and I all went to school together. Steff is Jan's age and Tiff and I are the same age. Tiff and Steff are both pregnant and due about 3 weeks apart in November! I had to get some belly shots :) It was so much fun to catch up with everyone- Steff is so happy and ready to meet her baby girl.

Fun times................still ready for school though!

Here are some pics from our most recent trip to the splash park in Pt Neches. I met my oldest girlfriend Melanie there- I have known her since kindergarten :) Wow that is 30 years!!! I am getting old ........... anyway she was in Texas for a few days so we got together for the kiddos to play in the water and for us to catch up. Her girls are 6 and 7 and still not much bigger than Lukey is at 4......... oh that boy is growing like a bad bad weed! I will do another post to show the difference in how he looks from some older pics I ran across. Amazing how fast time flies............. just not when you are looking forward to SCHOOL starting! Only 18 more days to go!

Only 21 more days.............

....................... until school starts for Lucas- but I am NOT counting right!!?!?!??!? I am sooooooooooo excited- it is my fave time of year fo sho. Anyway I spent the entire weekend with my boyfriend Mark- it was fun, romantic, sweet, full of hours of talking, going out to eat, watching movies, etc., etc., etc.- won't bore you will ALL the details, but it was very nice :) We talked about our future, what went wrong the first time around and that we never worked on things before we split. We talked about our kids, and a life together with all 4 of us- it was so nice. I am so thankful to have him back in my life and his family as well. I will pray for guidance and patience and continue on enjoying the love I have in my world.

Another nice day

Hi there everyone-

Well I got to do lunch with the girls today that was so much fun :) Emily, the new baby, Rebecca and I at Olive Garden for lunch was fun- except them ragging on me for switching boyfriends this week! Oh well- they just don't know................ but they are great and supportive none the less. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my boy today- he was in not the best of moods- really tired from all his late night partying. He was super grouchy from 5-630 and I could not stand him any more so he went to be early. He was asleep by 7 so lets hope this sticks.
Spent more time this evening with Mark and Lukey- it went very well. Lukey warmed right up to him like I figured he would and it went well. It is so nice to see them together again. And for all you nay sayers out there- I think this go round is something totally different- it is so great to have this relationship back in my life. I don't think it is because it is new or we just missed each other- it really feels as if we both grew and that we both appreciate each other so much more. The time apart was a good thing I believe. I am so excited about the future!

Lukey pooed on the potty (and other shitty news!)

Yeah Lucas! Oh did we have a potty party last night! I have been putting him on the potty at night before his bath for about a month to get him into the swing of things there and he has been doing great with #1, but #2 never until last night. I did not even realize it until he was in the tub and I started seeing suspicious floaters in there with him. So I checked and low and behold- he pooed on the potty! I raved about this like some crazy woman on a game show that won a million $$!'s. He looked at me like I was nuuuuuuuttttyyy. Oh well- I should be used to that by now :)

Well in other news, I ended things with the new guy yesterday- I am determined to not settle and I felt like I was settling already with him. He put everything and everyone else in front of spending time with me, and at first I thought well he is just busy, or this came up or that, but after two months I started to realize that I needed to be more of a priority than that, and not trying to sound like a Loreal commercial........... I am worth it! So I met him for lunch and we did not eat but just talked and I explained to him that I was not happy in our relationship and that I needed more than he could give me; I also told him I had unresolved feelings for my ex. He seemed to understand and we parted on good terms so I am hoping we can be friends.

So I saw Mark last night- he came over for pizza and catching up with Lukey and I- it was wonderful. I had one of the best evenings I can remember in a very long time. It felt so nice to be in his arms again and to see him interact and love on my son. It melts my heart- I am truly optimistic and hopeful that this time around, after some time apart and soul searching that has been done, that we can work things out. I love him so much and I am thankful to have another chance with him.

Oh me....................

OK so life for me would not be normal without a little crazy thrown into the mix- so here it goes.......... things with the new guy are not working out quite as I had hoped. He is wonderful- a nice caring man, great dad, etc............. only problem is he is too nice. He never says no to anyone except me, regarding who to help or spend time with. He is so busy and never says no to his ex wife, his son, his friends, his co-workers; he is always helping someone and doing something that keeps us apart. I felt on the bottom of the list in my marriage, and being on the bottom of a list after only 2 months- that is not a good sign. I am going to talk to him today (as it is already Tuesday, albeit 4 am, but nevertheless Tuesday) and tell him this is not working.
Why is it not working? well like I said before the lack of time spent together is a major factor, but the main factor is unresolved feelings for my ex boyfriend. We ended things about 3 months ago and I have been missing him terribly- we talked last night and it felt really nice to hear him again. I am doing some deep thinking- I know watch out!- I will keep you all posted.................

The devil made me do it.......................

OK- for those who keep up here- lately has been hellacious around here- lots of meltdowns, lots of limit testing, etc. so when Lukey woke with HORNS in his hair I couldn't help but laugh :) He actually had 3 of them in his hair- does that imply more devilishness than the norm??? This is Lukey before his "coffee" (or first sippy cup of milk for the day) so he looks a bit rough- but I had to take some pics to show the evidence that may help explain some recent behaviors..............

So we are trying to mix up his routine a bit to make him a bit less rigid and so stuck in a routine that if it varies at all he freaks out. Mom watched him the other night and I forgot to tell her a couple of things that set him off and we talked about how this makes it almost impossible for anyone to keep him other than me or Mark. Well I have had about enough of this autistic 4 year old running the show! Time for Mama to be in charge! I am when it comes to big things- like going to school, going to bed, going to therapy even when he doesn't care to go, but I have been known now and then :) to give lollipops to lower the noise level!

Well he may be in for a rude awakening but I mixed some things up today and he did surprisingly well with them. I am going to keep his main routine the same but change up little things that used to be a must like swinging in not one but 2 swings before leaving or entering the house. It gets exhausting- but so does hearing meltdowns that last an hour. So I will keep you all posted as to how he and I adjust................

3 more weeks of school left until Summer II is over! Yeah! I may have to take a comprehensive exam around the same time so pray I pass it! Then I start back to school August 24th- same day Lukey goes back to school!!!! Only 33 days left till he goes back to school- but I am not counting, not really..............